Monday, 22 June 2009

A Rant

Yesterday was Father's Day so DH and I went over to Doncaster, meeting up with my DSis at the Crem, so we could go lay flowers and cards for our Dad. It was busy, it was warm and the traffic had been awful on the way there, so we were ready for a drink and something to eat by the time we got back to my DSis's.

We pulled up outside my DSis's house behind her neighbour's horsebox (yes, he keeps a horsebox in a narrow residential street - go figure!). As soon as we pulled up the neighbour came out from the front of the box with a stroppy look on his face and making ushering away gestures with his arm, like a bolshy little bantam cock. Fine - maybe he was warning us he was going to be using the spray paint in his hand? I jumped out to go open the door.

Meanwhile my DSis arrived so DH had to move the car out of the way so she could get into her drive...... the bolshy neighbour immediately got his DD's boyfriend to help him push the horsebox back into the place (outside my DSis house) that DH had just moved from. Thinking he was just manoeuvring it DH stayed in the middle of the road, fully expecting the neighbour to roll it back out of the way. The DD's boyfriend went round the back of the box with the intention of doing this but the neighbour's reply was: No, bl**dy leave it there.

DH realised there was a problem and another car was now behind him so he drove our car further up the street and parked it. Meanwhile I just stood, totally gobsmacked by what had just happened..... then the chap appeared from behind the box, spotted me, froze, then said: All right? in an extremely aggressive tone of voice. If he hadn't have done that I wouldn't have said anything but his attitude just seriously rankled after seeing him do such a deliberately spiteful act.

My reply: I was alright when I thought we were going to be able to park there. Bolshy little bantam cock got his feathers ruffled by that and got all defensive: My wife needs to be able to get her car out of the drive to go to work. I didn't ask why the car wasn't on the front then or point out that he'd parked the horsebox in such a way his wife could have driven a doubledecker bus through the gap. Instead I said that was OK but I would have thought it perfectly reasonable to expect to be able to park outside of my DSis's home when we were visiting. He still kept mouthing off at me. So I said: actually, he didn't own the road. So the bantam cock kept telling me that I didn't live there. SO? My DSis does: why shouldn't visitors to her home be able to park outside? Perfectly logical and reasonable I thought but he was having none of it.

I could tell that I wasn't going to get anywhere with him, so just said: Unbelievable! and walked off shaking my head. The young chap didn't look none too happy and I think he tried to reason with him after I walked up the road to help get our things out of the car. I told DH what had happened - DH said nothing and we walked into my DSis's house with the guy grumbling and muttering away all the time in the same aggressive manner.

I was shaking and very upset by the whole thing and it's still getting to me today...... and my blood pressure is back up again. I know I shouldn't get wound up like this but: I have always liked to treat people the same way I'd like to be treated in turn (Harm None) and, in my naivety, expect that from others; I always try to avoid confrontation when possible, as standing up to a bully has always been difficult for me; such scenes are NOT good for my health. So meeting up with such outright aggressive and unreasonable behaviour and having such a small-minded, petty thing done to us when we were just going about our business is seriously upsetting. I just cannot understand people like that and feel like I've just been pushed back ten steps in my recuperation.

Though what really upset me about the whole thing was that not once did the neighbour even consider what day it was or why we were there and as a result his selfish actions helped to make what was already a difficult day even harder. Thank you so much for that Mr bolshy bantam cock!

OK, rant over - am hoping getting that off my chest will make me feel a whole lot better soon. :0)

14 comments:

Julie said...

{{big hug}} Karan, well done on saying something, that just shows how far you have come, dont let this silly little man undo any of that, he's not worth it.

Angela said...

There's one in every street. One of our neighbours thinks he owns the road. When he drove into my husband's parked car, whilst reversing it was my husbands fault(we were in the house) for parking his car there!! It's been parked there for years and no-one has ever bumped into it before.

Good for you telling him how inconsiderate he was, bullys need standing up to.

Hopefully now you've got it off your chest your blood pressure will come back down, holding in your frustration might have had exactly the same effect anyway as he'd clearly wound you up.

Christine said...

Sorry your day was spoiled by such a horrid man. Love your description of him though, I can just picture him

Rachael said...

I can totally relate, and I am amazed you keep as calm as you did, I hate confrontation and get so tongue tied that I get even more vexed! I hope you can take your mind off it and try and put it behind you....Oh ark at me I should listen to my own advice LOL

Lisa said...

So sorry you've had to deal with this horrible person. Hugs.
We are one of the only people in our street with a driveway and as DH is medical staff on call 24/7 we have very nicely told our neighbours that we need the driveway keeping clear so he can get out at all times (never mind that it's illegal to obstruct a private driveway), but one of our neighbours insists on parking JUST over the edge of the drive so we can get on and off, but only just. It takes all my patience not to scream at him "one day it might be you who needs emergency medical care and it's you who has caused the delay"
Sorry, turned into my own little rant, lol, just want you to know you're not alone.

Clare - Aimetu said...

Well done for speaking up - shame people can't just say sorry and move over.

My dad has a simillar issue outside his house - he's leaving a note on the offending car which we hope will work.

Cheryl said...

You deserve to rant, that man sounds awful!

jane said...

there are people like this all over the place - don't let the experience upset you. You did well to make your feelings known to him - I would have just suffered in silence - but try not to let it affect you any more.

Daffycat said...

Um, what's a horse box?

***hugs***

Siobhan said...

Good for you for standing up to him! I am very similar in that I try to treat others the way I'd like to be treated, but then find myself very shaken & upset if somebody turns on me for no reason. Usually, though, I don't say anything, which makes me seethe for longer. Good for you for standing up for yourself!

Sally said...

Unfortunately there are people like this everywhere who think they own the place. We had one next door to us and he told the lady across the road's carer not to park in front of his house yet he parked in front of everyone else's and so did visitors to his house. He even went a far as dragging another woman who was visiting her out of the house to make her move her car! {{{{{hugs}}}}

Karen said...

we have bus drivers park across the driveway at certain times of day and just nip to the shop drives me bonkers, hope he has a month of flat tires for being so rotten

Mylene said...

Sorry to hear of what happened last sunday. Your description over him sounds he's an unfriendly person!

Lelia said...

Ya know - some people are just crabby, negative, & selfish. It bothers you because you are none of those things. Let the grumbling guy live in his own private hell.